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Writer's pictureKelly Daugherty

Crisis Tool Kit- Part 5: Memorials & Rituals


When a school experiences the death of a student or faculty member, it is essential to follow the policy regarding memorials and rituals that a school district should have in place. In this blog, the policies for memorials and rituals will be reviewed, along with things to consider when creating this type of policy.


Benefits of Memorials:


Memorials hold significance in schools when a student dies as they serve various emotional, social, and psychological purposes for the school community. Here are some of the benefits of having memorials at schools:


  • Grieving Process: Memorials provide a space for students, staff, and family members to express their grief and come to terms with the loss. Participating in a memorial can help individuals process their emotions and find a sense of closure.

  • Connection and Support: Memorials unite the school community, fostering a sense of connection and mutual support during difficult times. They create an opportunity for people to share memories, stories, and feelings about the deceased, strengthening bonds and promoting a sense of unity.

  • Honor and Remembrance: Memorials serve as a way to honor and remember the life and contributions of the deceased student, celebrating their unique qualities and acknowledging the impact on the school community.

  • Emotional Expression: Memorials offer a structured and supportive environment for individuals to express their emotions in a healthy and safe manner. They can share feelings, helping people cope and better understand their emotions.

  • Resilience and Healing: Participating in a memorial can help the school community build resilience and foster healing by acknowledging the loss, showing compassion, and encouraging support for one another.

  • Mental Health Awareness: Memorials can raise awareness about mental health issues and prompt conversations around the importance of mental health support and resources within the school community, particularly in cases where the death may have been related to mental health struggles.

  • Education and Prevention: In some cases, memorials can serve as an opportunity to educate the school community about the circumstances surrounding the death (e.g., substance abuse, traffic safety), promoting prevention and responsible behavior.

  • Tradition and Cultural Sensitivity: Memorials may also align with the cultural, religious, or personal beliefs of the deceased student and their family. They can allow the school community to demonstrate respect for and understanding diverse customs, beliefs, and traditions.

  • Encouraging Positive Action: Memorials can inspire positive action within the school community, such as engaging in community service, raising funds for a cause related to the student's interests, or creating scholarships in the student's name. These activities can transform grief into meaningful and lasting contributions, benefiting the community as a whole.



Things to Consider:


  • Tradition and Cultural Sensitivity: Memorials may also align with the cultural, religious, or personal beliefs of the deceased student and their family. They can allow the school community to demonstrate respect for and understanding diverse customs, beliefs, and traditions.

  • Encouraging Positive Action: Memorials can inspire positive action within the school community, such as engaging in community service, raising funds for a cause related to the student's interests, or creating scholarships in the student's name. These activities can transform grief into meaningful and lasting contributions, benefiting the community as a whole.

  • Some schools choose not to have a memorial for the following reasons:

    • Some schools might have policies in place that discourage or prohibit memorials to maintain consistency. Allowing one memorial could set a precedent that obligates the school to hold similar events for future losses, which might not be sustainable.

    • Schools might fear that a memorial or ritual could disrupt the normal functioning of the school, leading to interruptions in the academic schedule or conflicts among students and staff.

    • Holding memorial events on school property might raise legal concerns or liability issues, particularly if the event inadvertently causes harm or conflict.


Schools can create a memorial or remembrance to honor the memory of a student or staff member who has died. This can be a physical space, such as a garden or memorial wall, or it can be a virtual space, such as a website or social media page. A memorial or remembrance can help individuals to process their grief and remember the person who has passed away.

  • Develop guidelines for planning and executing a memorial service or ritual to honor the student or teacher who have died. This policy should address issues such as location, timing, content, and involvement of students and staff in planning the memorial or ritual and the following:

  • How to plan a memorial service or ritual

  • Creating a remembrance space

  • Involving students in the memorial or ritual planning

  • How to involve parents and caregivers in the school's grief support efforts

  • The school will create guidelines for planning and executing a memorial service or ritual to honor the student or teacher who has passed away.

  • The guidelines will address issues such as location, timing, content, and involvement of students and staff in planning the memorial or ritual.

  • The school will work with the deceased’s family to ensure that the memorial or ritual is respectful and appropriate.


Memorial School Policy


When creating a district-wide policy for memorials following a student’s or staff member’s death, a school district should consider several factors to ensure the policy is sensitive, respectful, and supportive of the grieving community. Here are some key aspects to consider:

  • Consistency and fairness: The policy should be consistently applied to all deceased students and staff members, regardless of the circumstances of their death. Establishing a fair and uniform approach will help prevent feelings of exclusion or favoritism within the school community.

  • Emotional impact: Consider the emotional implications of the memorial on the school community, including students, staff, and family members. Strive to create a policy that supports healing and recovery, rather than perpetuating grief or trauma.

  • Suicide contagion and romanticizing death: Be cautious of memorializing students or staff members who have died by suicide in a way that may unintentionally romanticize or glamorize their death, as this can contribute to suicide contagion. The policy should focus on commemorating the individual's life rather than the circumstances of their death.

  • Temporary vs. permanent memorials: Determine whether the policy will allow for temporary or permanent memorials and outline specific guidelines for each type. Temporary memorials may include items like flowers, cards, or artwork, whereas permanent memorials might involve naming a facility, planting a tree, or installing a plaque. Consider the potential long-term impact of permanent memorials on the school community.

  • Cultural and religious sensitivity: Consider the school community's diverse cultural and religious backgrounds when planning memorials. Ensure that the policy is inclusive and respectful of different traditions, beliefs, and customs.

  • Alternatives to physical memorials: Encourage alternative ways to honor the memory of the deceased individual, such as scholarships, community service projects, or annual events. These initiatives can provide a positive and lasting tribute without the potential drawbacks of a physical memorial.

  • Family involvement: Consult with the family of the deceased student or staff member to ensure that their wishes and preferences are respected in the memorial planning process. Establish a collaborative relationship with the family and consider their input when making decisions about the memorial.

  • Timing and duration: Establish guidelines for the appropriate timing and duration of memorials, taking into account the grieving process and the potential impact on the school community. Consider setting a specific timeframe for temporary memorials and establishing a clear process for their removal.

  • Maintenance and upkeep: If a permanent memorial is permitted, outline the responsibilities and expectations for its maintenance and upkeep. This may involve assigning responsibility to a specific group or individual within the school community or working with the family to ensure the memorial remains well-maintained.

  • Communication and collaboration: Develop a clear process for communicating the memorial policy to the school community, including students, staff, and parents. Encourage open dialogue and collaboration to ensure all parties understand and respect the policy.


Example of School Policy: The school will work with the deceased’s family to plan a memorial service or ritual to honor the student or teacher who has passed away. The school will create guidelines for planning and executing the memorial or ritual, which will be reviewed and approved by the bereavement support team. The guidelines will address issues such as location, timing, content, and involvement of students and staff in planning the memorial or ritual.


Additional Considerations:

  • Determine who will make the policy and include parents, teachers, administration, and community members in the process. Discuss any potential liabilities for the school district.

  • Ensure that attending a memorial is not mandatory for staff or students, and have an alternative plan in place for students who do not want to participate.

  • Online memorials should be monitored to prevent inappropriate or hurtful comments. Additionally, online memorials should be time-limited to ensure that they do not become a permanent fixture that may be challenging to maintain or may become a source of discomfort or trauma for some school community members. Online memorials may be printed out and added to a physical memorial or included in a memorial book and to identify students who may need extra support.

  • Be mindful of the timing of the memorial, and avoid scheduling it during a crisis response but rather sometime after.

  • To manage the media during the aftermath of a student or staff member's death, the school should designate a person or team to handle media inquiries and manage communication with the press. This person or team should be trained in media relations, understand the school's policies and procedures, and be able to communicate effectively and sensitively with the media. They should also be able to work closely with the school administration and other stakeholders to ensure that accurate information is disseminated promptly and appropriately.

  • Develop a plan for situations where a death occurs over summer or break, including notifying parents, students, and staff of the death, opening the school to grief counselors, and having a plan for support, notification, etc, when school is back in session.

  • Memorials should be safe and not retraumatize students. Spontaneous memorials should have a timeline of how long they will be left up and items can then be given to the student's family.

  • Including students in planning the memorial following the death of a student or staff member can provide several benefits. Students may have a unique perspective on what the deceased student or staff member meant to the school community and the most appropriate memorial type. Involving students in the planning process can also help them feel a sense of ownership and investment in the memorial, which may increase their participation and engagement in the healing process. Additionally, involving students can help to create a more inclusive and diverse memorial that reflects the broader school community's values and beliefs. Involving students can help to foster empathy, compassion, and resilience in the face of loss and trauma, helping to build a stronger, more supportive school community.


Memorial Ideas:

A memorial service can be a powerful way to bring the school community together to remember the student and honor their life. The service can include speeches, readings, music, and other forms of remembrance.

  • Memorial Garden or Plaque: Creating a memorial garden or plaque can be a way to honor the student's memory and provide a place for the school community to reflect and remember. The garden or plaque can be designed with input from students, staff, and the student's family.

  • Moment of Silence: Observing a moment of silence during a school assembly or other gathering can be a simple yet powerful way to honor the student's memory and provide a time for reflection and remembrance.

  • Balloon Release: A balloon release can the student's memory and provide closure for the school community. Students can write messages or memories on the balloons before they are released.

  • Art Project: Creating an art project in memory of the student can be a way to honor their life and provide a creative outlet for students to express their emotions and feelings. The project can be displayed in a prominent location in the school.

  • Candlelight Vigil: A candlelight vigil can be a solemn yet beautiful way to pay tribute to the student's life. Participants can light candles and gather in a circle to share memories or thoughts about the student.

  • Scholarship Fund: Creating a scholarship fund in memory of the student can be a meaningful way to honor their life and provide financial support to future students. This can also serve as a way to inspire students to live their lives to the fullest.

  • Commemorative Video: Creating a video slideshow or short film to commemorate the student's life can be a way to celebrate their achievements and provide comfort to the school community. The video can include photos and testimonials from friends, family, and teachers.

  • Service Project: Organizing a service project in honor of the student can be a way to give back to the community and honor their legacy. The project can be related to a cause that the student was passionate about or reflect their interests.

  • Yearbook Tribute: Including a special section or page in the yearbook in memory of the student can be a lasting way to honor their life and contributions to the school community. The section can include photos, quotes, and memories from classmates and teachers.

  • Planting a Tree: Planting a tree in memory of the student can be a beautiful and symbolic way to honor their life and provide a lasting legacy. The tree can be planted on school grounds, in a public park, or in a garden.

  • Book Drive: Organizing a book drive in memory of the student can be a way to honor their love of reading and provide resources to the school or local library. The books can be donated to a specific school, library, or community organization.

  • Fundraiser for a Cause: Organizing a fundraiser for a cause that the student cared about can be a way to honor their life and provide support to a meaningful cause. This can be done in partnership with a local organization or charity.

  • Remembrance Wall: Creating a remembrance wall in a prominent location in the school can be a way to honor the student's memory and provide a place for the school community to reflect and remember. The wall can include photos, quotes, and memories from classmates and teachers.

  • Memory Book: Creating a memory book can be a way to honor the student's life and provide a tangible way for the school community to remember them. The book can include photos, stories, and memories from classmates and teachers and can be displayed in a prominent location in the school.


The most important thing is to find a ritual or activity that feels meaningful and appropriate to the school community, while also honoring the memory of the student who has passed away. It is important to involve students, staff, and the student's family in the planning and execution of any ritual or activity.



Permanent Memorials:

Permanent memorials can have various long-term impacts on the school community. While they can serve as a meaningful tribute to a deceased individual, they can also present some challenges. Here are some potential long-term impacts to consider:

  • Emotional Triggers: For some individuals, the presence of a permanent memorial may trigger painful emotions or memories associated with the deceased person or the circumstances of their death. This can be particularly challenging for those who were close to the deceased or who may have experienced trauma related to the event.

  • Suicide Contagion: In cases of death by suicide, a permanent memorial may unintentionally romanticize or glamorize the suicide, contributing to the risk of suicide contagion among vulnerable individuals.

  • Focus on Death: A permanent memorial may shift the school community’s focus from promoting mental health, resilience, and positive coping strategies to an ongoing emphasis on loss and tragedy. This can influence the overall emotional climate of the school.

  • Equality and Fairness: If a permanent memorial is established for one individual, it may set a precedent for future memorials. This can create challenges in determining whose memory should be honored and maintaining a sense of fairness and equality within the school community.

  • Maintenance and Upkeep: Permanent memorials require ongoing maintenance and upkeep, which can be a logistical and financial burden on the school. Additionally, as time passes and personnel changes occur, the responsibility for maintaining the memorial may become less clear, leading to potential neglect or disrepair.

  • Changing School Environment: As students and staff come and go over time, the emotional connection to the deceased individual may fade. New school community members might not have known the person being memorialized, which can reduce the memorial's relevance and impact on them. Sometimes, this may lead to a disconnect between newer and older community members.

  • Space Constraints: Space may become a concern as schools grow and evolve. Permanent memorials can occupy valuable space, which might be needed for other purposes in the future, such as new facilities or expansions.

  • Budget: School districts need to consider budgetary concerns when planning permanent memorials, as items like benches, plaques, and other physical memorials can become expensive.

  • Trees: Using a tree for a permanent memorial can present challenges such as maintenance, space constraints, changing school environments, and the possibility that the tree may die over time.

  • Unintended Consequences: The presence of a permanent memorial may inadvertently create an expectation that all students and staff who pass away will be similarly honored. This can lead to complications in the event of controversial or divisive circumstances surrounding a death, potentially causing divisions within the school community. Policy should be the same regardlessthe student or the cause of death.

By carefully considering the potential long-term impacts of permanent memorials, schools can make informed decisions about how to best honor deceased students or staff members in a way that respects their memory while supporting the well-being and cohesion of the school community.

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